CLIMBING, WORKING, AND FINALLY GETTING MARRIED

As I've mentioned several times already, in Torah 10 of "Likutei Moharan" Rabbeinu discusses three stages of attaining something new in spirituality: a mountain, a field, and a home. At first a new insight or ability seems too lofty and far from our ordinary life; then it becomes closer but still requires much toil to internalize and make our own, until, finally, we feel truly at home with it.

Today I'd like to connect these three stages to the famous idea from Torah 6, "<...>  a person has to be baki (expert) in Halacha. This demands that he has two types of expertise: baki b'ratzo ("expert at running") and baki b'shov ("expert at returning")." Here Rabbeinu explains that there is no such thing in spirituality as always ascending, or always walking on level ground; there will be countless ups and downs, and so he teaches us how to deal with them.

First, we have to be able to run up a mountain without ever slackening our efforts, always keeping in mind how much there is still to attain; then, when we're no longer capable of ascending further and even find ourselves descending, we must be capable of keeping this inevitable descent from becoming a terrible fall. So  baki b'ratzo means being expert in mountain climbing, while baki b'shov is knowing what to do when we are "back to earth" again.  

This second kind of expertise is akin to working a field; it requires a lot of effort yet, for a long time, brings no gratification and no tangible results. No one is going to see or appreciate how difficult it was for you to retain all the insights from your "ratzo" stage and not to fall any further than you absolutely had to. And, indeed, the gematria of the word "שדה" ("a field") plus one for the word itself equals the gematria of "בשוב" ("b'shov").

Climbing a mountain is what happens in Adar; in Hebrew the name of this month ("אדר") has the same gematria as the word "הר" ("a mountain"). With all the preparations for Purim, this can be a very happy climb, and, if all goes well, we can easily prove ourselves to be experts in running.

Then comes the month of Nissan, accompanied by the inevitable and seemingly endless Pesach cleaning. This is not a mountain but a field, devoid of glamour and full of hard work. This is a stage of returning to real life, and it requires a very different kind of expertise.

Yet, if we persevere, we can expect to reach the stage of a home during the Pesach Seder. If you remember, the words "סדר פסח" have exactly the same gematria as the word "בית" "("a home").

But we still have to understand what this last stage signifies. What does it mean to find ourselves at home? Here I'd like to quote something my husband recently said concerning "Megillas Esther that made a deep impression on me, When the Megillah describes how Mordechai raised Hadassah (Esther), it says that he took her "l'bas" (as a daughter). Our Sages explain that the Megillah really wants to say that he took her "l'bais" (into his home, meaning that he married her).

So the word "bais", home, signifies dveykus - becoming truly close, like husband and wife. The Pesach Seder gives us an opportunity to achieve the same kind of closeness with Hashem. This will be a truly happy homecoming and something to really look forward to. So what if, in order to get there, we'll have to first climb a mountain and then work a field? This is definitely worth it!