Breslov Blog

Yesterday me and my husband went to Kever Rochel. I had long been fascinated by gematrias, and so on the way there I did a quick calculation that the words "קבר רחל" ("Kever Rochel") have the same numerical value as the word "רשם" ("imprint"). This made me realize that a visit to Kever Rochel is supposed to make an imprint on a person, and I had a feeling that our visit really would.  When we got to Kever Rochel, I went to the ezras nashim and started saying Tehillim. For some reason, they resonated with me like almost never before, and it was difficult for me to tear myself away when the rime was up and I had to go back to meet my husband and get on the bus, I was sure that, somehow, a new chapter was starting. Back home, I decided to review the Torah in "Likutei Moharan" that deals with saying Tehillim- Siman 73 in the second part (all the more so because it is related to the Counting of the Omer, the period that we are in now). Ther

I never felt part of the world and never had any sense of belonging.  This is probably understandable, considering that I grew up in a Russian working-class neighborhood, with practically no Jews around but with a lot of Anti-Semitism (or maybe just plain xenophobia). This made an indelible impression upon me, and, try as I might, I could never really shake it off. When I was very young, I still tried to fit in, but, after I came to America with my parents at the age of 22, it became too hard. After a few feeble attempts, I totally gave up on being part of the world and sunk into a deep depression. After a few years, I came back to Russia but couldn't find a place for myself there, either. I had a felling that, if I ever allowed myself to become part of the world, it would somehow destroy me. For this reason, I was mortally afraid of getting a full-time job; I earned some money (not much) by giving private English lessons, but, for the most part, I was supported by my father. Then,

The numerical value of Rabbeinu's name נחמן (Nachman) is 148. There are a number of other words that have the same gematria: "קמח "("flour", which could also mean material sustenance in general), "נצח" ("eternity"), and "חלקי" ("my portion").  As I once wrote, this can be understood to mean that, if a person really makes Rabbeinu into their portion and stays with him through thick and thin, then Rabbenu is going to give that person everything they need, in ruachnius as well as in gashmius , both in this world and in the Next One. But how can a person attach themselves to Rabbeinu? It was only today that I thought of another word that has the same numerical value: "בממוני" ("through my money"). Words and declarations, however passionate, are not enough. It is only through giving money to the tzaddik (or through supporting his causes) that one really becomes included in him. On the one hand, this is pret