THE PITFALLS OF "AS IF"
A few years ago, when my children were little, I used to be friends with a very chareidi lady whose kids were around the same age. We spent a lot of time together, discussing many different topics, and she inspired me greatly. Once, we spoke about the upcoming Shavuos, and she said, "I love Shavuos! My husband's job is to learn all night, while my job is to make the cheesecake. And I feel deeply content with my role as a woman; baShomayim, our reward is still going to be the same." At the time, I felt nothing but admiration for her. I knew full well that her words didn't describe a worldview limited by cheesecakes; on the contrary, they showed a deep and heartfelt acceptance of the role Hashem has given her. Yet as time went by, I discovered that I couldn't fully understand that position. Let's say that one person is always cooking the food, and the other is always eating. So how can the one forced to go hungry all his (or rather her) life be satisfied with t...